To Ian
by aika-reimr
Summary: Anthony is set to leave for Japan at midnight. He's going to start living there for good. Ian doesn't know about it. He couldn't bring himself to tell him. He was too scared of what might happened next. This is his last chance. Will he be able to tell Ian by the end of the day? (Rated T, just to be safe. Foul languages like cursing and such)


_hey~ this is my first ever Smosh fic :) I hope you guys like it! Enjoy:_

* * *

It was morning. The alarm clock rang and echoed through the room. Anthony woke up to see bags and boxes right beside his bed. It took him a moment to realize why those were there. He sat up and stood.

It finally came. Today was the day Anthony was set to leave for Japan. His flight was right before midnight, which meant he still had a day to say his good byes to everyone. Especially to Ian.

He's already done so to most of the friends he usually meets, also to the crew and members of Smosh. They've all had their farewells. All except Ian.

Ian didn't have the slightest clue that Anthony was leaving. No one had the heart to tell him. However, he had to know at some point. Joven, Mari, Olivia, Keith and Noah offered that they'd try to tell Ian for him, but Anthony refused and made them all swear they won't ever say a word to Ian. He knew he had to tell Ian himself.

As he finished his morning routine, Anthony headed out. They were supposed to meet for what Ian thought was just another episode of Lunch Time with Smosh.

It was all planned out. Anthony's day was to be spent with Ian, and to finally give him the news. They didn't really have to shoot a video, but if they were to, it'd probably be Anthony's farewell video.

"Oh, hey man." Ian greeted as he welcomed his friend inside. "Uhh, don't you think you came a little early?" He asked.

Anthony simply laughed, a little too fake. "Yeah, well, we're gonna have a pretty long drive to this awesome fast food chain Mari told me about."

Ian raised an eye brow in suspicion. "Righhhtt. But I think I should change first. My shirt reeks."

"Why? What'd you do for it to smell? Is it even _that_ bad?" He leaned to take sniff. It was a horrible stench. "Dude, _what the hell_?! Since when have you worn that?!"

"Yesterday!" Blue eyes shouted, defending himself. "I just woke up an hour or two ago, _okay?_ "

"Just- Just go change already. Better yet, take a shower. And be sure to use clean clothes after."

Ian rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah. But for the record, I probably spilled something on this yesterday, which would explain the smell."

"Dude. I don't care. Just go take your bath already." Anthony replied.

Ian went in, leaving Anthony in the living room.

It kinda made Anthony laugh a bit of how they acted. They've been best friends for so long, always together since, and now he was leaving. It stung him when he thought of how pained Ian would be after he's told him about this. He would be so mad. Would he even forgive Anthony for this?

His mind kept wandering through the memories they've made throughout the years.

He was having his moment in memory lane when something suddenly hit his back. It was a small plush-toy that was originally placed on the side table in Ian's apartment. He picked it up and recalled it was from some fan they got back then. He turned to see Ian, all dressed and ready to go.

"Dude, the fuck are you doing, creepily staring at my shelf."

Anthony flinched and nervously covered his back. "What? I wasn't creepily staring at anything."

"Uhh, yeah you were." Ian said, crossing his arms.

"You know what, let's just go." Anthony held Ian's shoulders and pushed him towards the door. "I'm starving, and we've still got a long drive."

They took Ian's car, Anthony used public transportation to get to Ian's. He lied about his broken car in the repair shop, when in fact it was already on it's way to Japan.

Ian started some small talk about his dog's recent activity and some facts about fish he found out through NatGeo. He kept talking as Anthony drove and tried to think of how he was going to tell Ian about him leaving. He cringed in regret of taking this long to drop the bomb. Why didn't he just tell him before? It would've been way easier.

"and that's why 'flying fish' are called 'flying fish', even though they don't actually fly or- _hey_ , were you even listening? I just told you some great stuff. Don't think I'll repeat everything I've just said to you. You could've been as knowledgeable as me in fish studies."

"I already knew about those anyway."

"Whatever." Ian took out the camera. "Let's just start filming."

 _Filming_ , Anthony thought, _great. Ian's gonna film our 'worst day as friends ever'_.

"Oh yeah," Ian interrupted as he powered the camera, "where are we going? You barely told me what we were gonna have."

"Uhhh, no. I'm not telling you yet. Find out yourself."

"What? Come on!"

Anthony shook his head.

"Wow," Ian faced the camera, "Anthony won't tell me where we're going!" He paused and whispered, "If this video never makes it out, remember that I love you guys. And that you might have to call the police because Anthony's most likely going to murder me and we wouldn't want him walking around, looking for his next victim."

He sighed, "If you're gonna suspect me for a murderer at least think of me as a good one. Why would I post this video, where I could possibly be the last person you'd be seen with, just as soon as you go missing?"

Ian ignored. "Anyway, Hey guys! Welcome to another episode of 'Lunch Time with Smosh'. Well, 'Brunch Time' since we'll probably get there before lunch time and after breakfast time. And I haven't had breakfast so that'll be brunch time for me. Idk about Anthony though."

He continued "I'd tell you what we were having or where we were going, but Anthony's being a real dick right now." He turns the camera to Anthony. "Tell me where we're eating!"

"No." He answered solidly.

"Not even what we're having?" Ian asked.

"No."

"Mexican? Asian? Some regular American meal?" He pestered.

Anthony focused on driving, "No, Ian. You'll find out _later_."

"As you can see." Ian faced the camera to the window. "So I guess I'll be shooting random stuff till we get there. Wherever _there_ is."

Anthony silently drove, hoping he'd be able to tell Ian by the end of the day, as Ian placed his camera to shoot the road.

"Weird." Ian said, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"You're being weird today." Ian shifted his gaze to the other man. "Seriously, dude. Is something up?" A question that made Anthony anxious. He wanted to say it, but no matter how hard he tried to let it out, the words just kept jumbling together before they could even turn into phrases.

"Anthony!" Ian shouted.

"Nothing's wrong!" He shouted back, leaving confusion and concern in the blue eyes of the man beside him. "I just-, probably, didn't get enough sleep last night or something.."

He drove as Ian kept his stare at him. "Are you.. on your period or something?"

Anthony sighed and refused to answer.

Ian turned to his window and whispered to the camera, "Anthony's being really weird today. He came over extremely early, stood by my shelf and creepily stared at it-"

"I wasn't creepily staring at it." Anthony denied.

"Plus he's so cranky." he panned the camera to Anthony again. "And he's driving my car today!"

He sighed again, with a little chuckle at the end. "Yaaay I'm driving Ian's car today!" He replied and gave a goofy smile at the camera. His smile suddenly faded as soon as Ian turned away. He almost forgot about reality and thought this was just another regular day for them.

It's been more than an hour now, Ian was starting to complain again.

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we even near there yet?"

"..."

"Anthony, I'm starving. I didn't have breakfast remember?"

"Don't worry, Ian. We'll be there soon." He reassured.

In just a few more turns, they finally arrived. Anthony stopped in front of the gates. "We're here."

"How is this a _fast food chain?_ " Ian asked, seemingly confused. "This is a fucking resort, man. And from the looks of it, a private resort."

Anthony started the car again, forwarding to the gates. " _We're here, Ian_. Stop complaining. This place was rented for the whole day. We can stay all day, and the food's waiting for us inside."

"Woah woah, wait- _why?_ What's the occasion?" Ian wondered.

Anthony paused, thinking of what to say. "I.. I don't know?" He gave a half smile to the boy sitting beside him.

"Are you hiding something..?" Ian asked, but Anthony ignored.

"Hello, sir." Anthony greeted the guard. "This resort was reserved by 'Mari Takahashi' for today. I'm sure she informed you that two men were coming over, ahead of everyone, right around lunch time? Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox?"

The guard checked, "Ah! Yeah, she did, sir." He opened the gates to let them in. "Welcome! Please enjoy your stay!"

"Okay. Hold up. Mari was in this? And who did you mean by 'everyone'?"

He laughed a little with nervousness. " _Everyone_ , apparently. Mari told me to take you here for lunch instead of some regular old drive thru today since the place was already reserved from 11 am but no one was gonna be here till around 4 or 5 PM, I think? Plus, think of it as a special episode of LT w/Smosh."

"What. The. Fuck. Are you even talking about!?" Ian asked. "I'm so frickin' confused, man. Explain this shit."

Anthony didn't know what to make up, if he goes over board, his story would be too suspicious. "This is.. is where the party's gonna be held at." _Fuck. Good job, Anthony. Now you have to keep this up._ "You know, the party." He could tell Ian just got way more confused. "I thought you knew about the party?" He asked instead.

Ian frowned. "Now you guys are planning parties without even inviting, or even telling me? Wow. No, I did not know about the stupid party."

"Calm it, I didn't know about it, either. Until recently, that is. Apparently, the whole Smosh peeps are invited. I thought I was the only guy who didn't know?" He wasn't exactly lying though. Everyone kept it a secret from him and Ian that a party for him was going to be held today since it was meant to be a surprise farewell party for him, and Ian wasn't really notified about the whole moving out thing yet. They all decided to tell Anthony about it to help him get some alone time with Ian, and hopefully, he'll be able to tell his bestfriend before the party starts.

"Seriously? They didn't even bother telling us? _The two people who made the whole Smosh thing?_ "

"Looks like it."

"But why didn't you wanna tell me earlier? About all of this? When I kept asking you where we were going? And why lie about this being a fast food chain?"

He averted his eyes away from Ian, "It was a.. meant to be a surprise that we were gonna be here before everyone else. But I thought you knew about the party, so I guess this whole thing backfired."

Ian rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't worry. It was _hell of a surprise._ "

Anthony parked the car just as Ian was ready with the camera. He started filming again as they walked, elaborating how he was quite annoyed and confused of everything, "-and suddenly, there's a party. What real _great_ friends we have."

"It's not even a party, party. I think it's just a little barbecue." Anthony interrupted.

Ian gave him a sarcastic ' _are you kidding me?_ ' look and rolled his eyes again.

A woman came to greet them, "Good day, Sirs." She said with a smile. "Your lunch is ready at the cottage nearest to the pool."

 _Finally_ , Anthony thought. Sure, he plans to give Ian all the importance for the day and all, but he was starving. He regretted listening to his appetite, who didn't seem to be in the mood that morning.

Knowing their stomachs were both at their limits, they rushed to the said cottage. Ian almost forgot he was supposed to be filming. He panned the camera as he ran, not focusing on his path, and almost tripped. Anthony chuckled.

The staff didn't fail them. They had a glorious tropical themed buffet for three served at their table, complete with a drink tower. They stood there in delight.

Anthony had the camera now, since Ian almost had a little accident with it. He shot everything, and eventually turned it to Ian, who turned to the camera, too.

" _Look at all the food_." Ian uttered.

Anthony laughed a little again. He couldn't help it, seeing how dumbly stupid Ian's face was. "Still annoyed they forgot to tell us about the party?" He asked.

Ian was gathering his words, unable to speak at the first few seconds. "I.. I don't even think I care about that anymore, at the moment. _Holy Christ_ , I'm digging in!" He went ahead, placing what ever he felt like into his plate.

They feasted, filming from every first bite to all the little food fights. They almost finished everything, and not just because they were hungry, the served drink helped in giving them more space in their stomachs.

"So are we just gonna keep doing this until they get here?" Ian asked as they both sat at separate poolside chairs. "What about 'funny Twitter questions'?"

Anthony shrugged, it's not like he had any excuses that Ian wouldn't see through, even though he needed for them to be able to talk. "There's no wifi here." He made sure the staff turned it off and if Ian ever asked, they'll say it's not a part of their services. "What do you wanna do?" He asked instead.

"Wanna take a dip?"

"Did you bring any swim wear?"

Ian emitted a long sigh, " _I would've if I knew we were going to a resort_." He scowled. "You?"

He lifted his back pack, "Yeah, I brought some."

Ian slightly groaned. "Thanks a lot for telling me to bring my own- _Oh wait_ , you didn't." He crossed the arms together with a pout.

Anthony threw him the bag. "I have an extra one, okay? Stop frowning so much already."

Ian checked, Anthony really did bring two pairs and some extra clothes and a little pouch he didn't want to bother about. Ian was still confused of how, just this morning, Anthony was trying to hide where they were going, but was later saying when they arrived that Ian should've assumed he was taking him to the venue for the Smosh party, which he was apparently also supposed to know about. Well, Anthony didn't exactly say those, but that's how it was for Ian. And look how prepared he was for today. And what was up with the pouch? He doubted something wasn't up.

The temperature of the pool was perfect. Trees shaded the place, and there was a very nice breeze. Just the right place to relax. Except Ian couldn't.

He just can't shake off the thought that something was up. He slightly observed Anthony, but it didn't seem like he was up to something. Though Anthony has been acting odd recently, so often that Ian decided it was nothing to be concerned about.

Anthony was in conflict with himself. He wanted so bad to tell Ian that he was about to leave in just a few hours, but his body wouldn't follow. As if his brain had it's own brain, commanding his whole body not to do so. He would hate himself for this later.

He's gotten so many opportunities to tell Ian for the past hours yet he let them pass. He has to tell Ian soon, before the day comes to an end.

"Hey Ian," he started, finally. "Remember this one pool party we got invited to when we were kids? We wanted so bad to impress this girl that we ended up embarrassing each other?"

"Oh, yeah yeah!" He chuckled. "I hate that. I can't even remember the girl's name." He said, still chuckling.

"Worst part was we couldn't get home till your mom got there to pick us up." He added, also laughing.

" _God_. We had to wait there with the guy who threw the party's parents. It was one of the longest things I've ever been through. That girl wasn't even worth it."

"Yeah," Anthony continued. They reminisced the past. Of how they came to be best friends, of how Smosh came to be, and of all they've accomplished. It was nice to just chill and talk about it all. The feeling of nostalgia was nice. The very moment they're spending together was nice, too. Everything was nice.

And finally, a chance had opened up. He could finally tell him. It was now or never.

Anthony could feel himself sweating, despite being in a pool. His heart kept throbbing hard, the words were collapsing before he could let them out. "I-" his voice broke, but it surely got Ian's attention.

"You okay?" The other man asked.

Instead of giving him an answer, he looked back at him and stared directly into his eyes. "Ian.."

Ian doubted even more now. Again, Anthony was acting weird. No way there wasn't something up. "Yeah...?"

He reached out to hold Ian's shoulder, "You.. You know I love you, right?"

 _Okay_. They was the last straw. Ian was convinced. Something definitely was up. "What the fuck? What are you even-?"

Anthony looked lost and unsure of what to do next, "Nothing, man. I'm just saying I love you. You're my best friend and all. I just-"

"Alright," Ian said, raising his hands while looking so done. "Where are the cameras?" He looked around and started to help himself out of the pool.

"What cameras?"

"Good acting. _The cameras for your stupid prank_ , where are they?"

Good grief. Ian's misunderstood due to Anthony's _great_ start.

"Ian, come back in the pool. There are no cameras. This isn't a prank."

"Yeah, right." Ian answered back. "Come on, I already caught you."

"There are no cameras. I'm not trying to prank you, man!"

"Then what is all _this_? _This_ can't just happened without any reason!"

Anthony tried to speak up, but Ian beat him to it. "And you! Why have you been acting so weird lately? As if you want to tell me something. Dude. I'm your best friend. If there's something you wanna tell me, just tell me. Don't you trust me?"

 _Aahhggg!_ "No! No, Ian! It's not like that!" He was panicking. What now? How should he say it? Was now the right timing? "Th-the truth is.." He spoke, in a tone barely audible.

" _Man_." Ian face-palmed. "I had just said some dramatic stuff. If this really is a prank, _I swear to god_."

Anthony's had enough of himself. He was leaving later and his best friend still doesn't know anything. Since it's come to this, who care about right timing and right words. He's just got to tell him now. If he doesn't, it'll be too late.

He calmed himself. Ian was still blabbing about his suspicions and what not.

"Ian." Anthony called out firmly.

Ian stopped. "What?"

He was serious now. "I have something to tell you."

Ian sat down near him, his feet into the pool. He was listening.

Anthony closed his eyes. He was nervous, but let's set that aside for now. He let too much time pass by. He wasted so many chances. But finally, he can tell him.

"I'm le-"

They heard chattering. People were coming. Ian's attention turned to that direction. "Oh hey, they're here."

The Smosh crew was there, along with some friends, and few YouTuber friends of theirs. They arrived. He didn't notice the time. It was already past four.

He got out of the pool, Ian reverted back to him and stopped him. "Hey, you were still saying something?"

His eyes were blank. He smiled faintly while looking down at Ian. "Truth is.. I knew about the party all this time."

Ian frowned. "What?!"

He forced a laugh. "Yeah, I was pranking you. Sorry. Haha."

Ian stood up and hit him. "Fuck you, man. Fuck you so much!"

He laughed again. "Don't worry there aren't hidden cameras. It was just a little prank I wanted to do."

Ian was about to hit him a few more times but he got away and took his bag. "I'm gonna go change. Sorry about this."

Ian was concerned. He a little mad, but worried. Anthony made such a sad face earlier, and now he was just socializing with everyone.

They didn't even talk much at the party, Anthony seemed so busy. Everyone just need his attention.

Ian went to his car to fix some things. He saw Anthony carrying the small pouch he saw in his bag, on the way to the gates in a bit of a hurry. "Woah, are you leaving? It's just eight." He asked.

Anthony was a bit startled, the lights were too dim on where Ian was to notice anyone.

"Yeah, I'm kinda tired."

"Want me to drive you home? I don't mind." He offered.

Anthony shook his head. "It's fine. I'll take a taxi. Oh yeah, I left my bag with the guys, I told them to give it to you. It's just clothes, could you take it home?"

There was still something off about Anthony. "Okay, will do. Take care."

Anthony smiled and walked off. He started to walk too, but Anthony came back and grabbed his wrist.

"What? Changed your mind? Should I drive you home?"

"No.. I just.." Anthony pulled him closer for a tight hug.

Ian was so puzzled now. His face slightly reddened. "That's it. I'm taking you home." He took out his keys out of his pocket.

Anthony let go, "No, you don't have to. I'm fine. I'm not sick."

"But-"

" _I'm fine_. Anyway, I have to go. They got a cab waiting for me." He started jogging away, but looked back. "Oh yeah, I wasn't creepily staring at your shelf!" He waved.

Ian laughed. _He was still on about that?_ He waved back.

When he got back, he saw the guys all sitting together, talking. He went to them. "Really nice prank guys."

They looked confused.

"I can't believe you reserved this place early just to help Anthony prank me. On top of that, you guys didn't even record it. It was just a random prank."

They started looking at each other.

Ian didn't get it, but oh well.

He was bored and since others have gone home, it wouldn't be bad if he did too. It was only past eight, but he wanted to go home, so he did. Makes him think it would've been better if he just went home with Anthony earlier. Speaking of Anthony, how was he? He's probably not home yet, judging from the time it took them to get to this resort. Was he able to tell the driver where exactly he was going? He was acting odd, who knows what could've happened.

No. Anthony's safe. The guys git the cab for him and all. He told himself not to fret too much.

He was finally home. Tired, he layed down. He was still worried about Anthony. If he's home, surely Anthony was, too.

He gave him a call to check on him, but it wouldn't reach. He tried calling a few more times, but still no.

He sighed. The only thing he could think of was that Anthony's phone is probably dead and he fell asleep just as he got home. It made him laugh.

He remembered Anthony denying he wasn't creepily staring at his shelf, and since he was up preparing himself for bed, he checked.

There wasn't anything suspicious about his shelf. Same books, placed on the same spots. He almost didn't notice a white envelope stuck in between two books. Had that always been there?

 _To Ian.._

He recognized the handwriting. He had a guess, but why would that man write him a letter? He opened it up.

 _Hey. This is honestly so corny. I don't even know why I convinced myself to do this, but you never know how useful it could turn out to be._

 _First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kinda suck at writing letters, and I can 't exactly word out what I want to say._

 _Also, I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, but I'm moving to Japan. And, this isn't just for a while. This is permanent. I can't tell you all the reasons why in this letter, not because I don't want you to know, but because I don't know where to start. But I will gradually._

 _You know that thing they say that one day, you'll get a calling or something? Whatever that was. I think this is something like that. I just have to move to Japan._

 _I know, I know. What about the videos? What about our career? What about my life with you guys? What about Smosh?_

 _I already talked it out with the others, and they agreed to continue making videos for our various channels. About the main channel, you guys can still shoot videos and stuff. The whole crew is still with you. No problem there, right?_

 _Ian, you're my best friend. I love you. I'm sorry it had gone to this, me leaving so suddenly, but hopefully I'll be able to tell you as much as I can later at the resort. Hopefully you wouldn't be too angry with me. Though, I'd understand if you were._

 _We'll still be able to keep in touch, right?_

 _My flight is tonight, around midnight. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner about everything. Love you, Ian._

 _-Anthony._

He was crushed _._ He just stood there, the letter in his hand. He reread it a few more times, just in case he mistook a few words. No. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Anthony wouldn't..

His phone rang. It was Joven. "Uhh, hey, Ian, uhm. You know that thing you said earlier? We uh-"

"It's important." Matt took the phone. "You probably don't know yet, bu-"

The phone was taken away again by David this time. "ANTHONY'S LEAVING FOR JAPAN. TONIGHT."

Ian flinched. He heard them fighting over the phone until Mari snatched it away.

"Ian?" She asked.

"I knew. He wrote a letter. I just found out."

He could feel Mari's sympathy. He crumpled the letter, took his keys and rushed out. "What airport?"

Anthony waited inside the airport. They could call for the passengers of his flight at any moment now. His baggages were with him in the taxi he rode. It was all arranged by his friends. If it wasn't for them, things wouldn't have gone smoothly. The guys had done so much for him, how would he ever be able to repay them.

He waited and wondered. Ian could still be at the party, or he could've already found out. Someone's bound to tell him. But one thing's for sure, Ian would most definitely pissed.

He heard the announcement tone go off. "Flight Z24, ready for boarding."

That was his flight.

There was a bit of traffic. Ian luckily still managed to make it to the airport. He ran, trying to catch Anthony before he left. _I'll make it. I'll make it. I'll make it_. He kept repeating to himself. He was running around the airport, he didn't really know where Anthony was, but it was already past eleven P.M., his flight could be leaving soon. He was tired. He didn't have this much exercise in a while. He halted. He could just be imagining it, but he saw it at the side of his vision. He turned. It was Anthony.

He called out to him as he ran. He realized it was a dumb effort since there were thick glass walls separating them, but he still kept shouting. He banged the glass. Anthony still hadn't noticed him.

" _ANTHONY YOU BASTARD. LOOK HERE DAMN IT!_ "

Security would kick him out soon, he didn't bother caring. He he tried to get in, but as expected, he was stopped.

"Sir, please calm down. I need to see your boarding pass before I let you in." He didn't have time for this.

"Let me through! I need to talk to that guy!"

The man wouldn't budge. He kept asking Ian as politely as possible, but he couldn't handle it anymore. Security came and tried to get him out. He resisted.

The screen showed which flights have arrived and which planes have left. Mari told him Anthony's flight was 'Z24'. It was still there, but not for long.

He resisted even more now, fighting his way free from the two muscled men. He got away and went straight to the ground floor. The gates that led to the runway. There was nowhere else he could think of.

He tried to climb it. Adrenaline had kept flowing through his body. " _ANTHONY!_ "

Someone grabbed him from behind. There were two of them now. It was the men from earlier. _Fuck_. He kept shouting Anthony's name. _Fuck_. The plane. It was almost out of the runway. _Fuck it_. He shouted and cried out. The plane. It was up. The plane. It was gone.

 _Anthony was gone_.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading~! :)**  
\- review if you want, tnxx 3

 _(btw, the spacing won't work well. I kept editing it to fix the spacing, but it wouldn't let me. Sorry 'bout that..)_

* * *

 _ **Z24** \- Zai ;) xD_


End file.
